Paige the Pretend Author
03 July, 2015
Honeys! Happy almost 4th of July! I pray you all have an amazing, amazing weekend filled with lots of hotdogs, sparklers, and cannonballs. If that's not on your horizons, shoot me a call and you can tag along with my plans. As I've mentioned in past posts, I am starting to write a book. I was deciding between a couple topics, but have chosen to write on waiting for the right person. My writing is pretty elementary, especially in terms of writing an entire book, but my mom gave me great advice. "Write for YOU. Use it as therapy. What would help you the most?"
Welp, it was obvious: waiting. Waiting for a man of God that loves me for me. Someone to take adventures with. Someone to make fun of me and laugh with me and sing off-key with me. But, there's something so beautiful about the waiting. Who will I end up with? God only knows. And through this time of waiting I hope to encourage others in the same, single, wedding-dateless-season I'm in. Just for giggles, below is a snippet of my first chapter. Stay tuned, babes. Smooches! Hugs! Love in the name of Jesus of Nazareth!
Chapter One: Advice from a Recovering Heartbroken Heartbreaker
“Now, you’re probably reading this book thinking, who’s this Paige chick and why does she think she’s smart enough to write a book about finding a man? I mean, look at her, she’s not even dating anyone! What a rip.”
Right you are, beloved, right you are. I am actually the worst person to write this book. As a middle and high schooler, I struggled with extreme insecurity. I was worried about my appearance, I was always worried people didn’t like me, and I needed (yes, needed) a boyfriend. A boyfriend would make me feel comfortable and accepted and adored and cherished, right? All my problems of insecurity would vanish, right?
Well, once I started my first “real but not actually real” relationship in 8th grade with a boy named M***, I was in for a pleasant surprise. My insecurity didn’t clear up like I’d assumed, in fact, it FLARED up. It got worse than before! I was constantly checking my Motorola pink RAZR flip phone (very sheek at the time) to see if he’d texted me back. A minute would go by, two minutes, and before you know it, I had mentally broken up and gotten back together with him 7 times before receiving a response a few minutes later. Yes, I was one of those girls.
I grew up with the same hairdresser, a cute blonde named Megan, who was about 7 years older than me, and every time I’d go in for my blonde highlights (I mean, whoops, they’re all natural, wink wink) I’d tell her about the latest boy. 8th grade turned into 9th grade which turned into 12th grade, and I went through boy after boy after boy. M** turned into A*** turned into N***** turned into A**** turned into M*** again turned into P** turned into T***** turned into J*** turned into J**** turned into… well, you get the picture.
“There’s this guy, and his name’s A****…” I’d begin, only to watch her roll her eyes and laugh.
“You and your boys, Paige. When are you gonna learn to just chill?”
“Never,” I’d say with an evil laugh. “How can a player quit the game?”
But that was just it, I couldn’t quit. I couldn’t be single for the life of me. I needed a boyfriend because, well, I couldn’t stand the thought of being alone! No boyfriend meant no 'good morning babe' texts which meant no self esteem which meant unworthiness. I was a ticking time bomb, doing all I could to cover my emotions through having a boy at my hips. “If I’m never alone, I’ll never have to face myself - my true self,” I figured.
Until one day, I met a man who changed everything...
TO BE CONTINUED ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤
