How to Ride Solo (in $tyle)
17 April, 2015
Goodness, I've been single now for 2 and a half years. Funny, if you had told any of my friends from highschool I'd eventually be solo-dolo this long, they'd have laughed at you. Becoming a Christian turns your life upside-down, well, atleast mine. The day I became a Christian, I broke up with my then-boyfriend, a man I actually wanted to marry, because I knew that I knew that I knew God wanted me to focus on myself for a while.
I've kissed a frog (or 4, yikes) since then; I have gone on a couple dates, but nothing serious at all. I can't seem to legitimize tying myself down unless he's the obvious man for me. My brother once told me not to settle for someone unless I physically couldn't see myself living another day without them. Word, James.
I'm not saying it's been easy. Some days have sucked. I've struggled with thinking my standards are too high... that the man I'm waiting for doesn't exist. I've thought maybe I should cross a few things off my mental 'non-negotiables' list. "Maybe he doesn't have to love Jesus. Maybe he doesn't have to treat his mother with respect. Maybe he doesn't need to have a passion, or a bright future, or a solid group of friends..."
The world tells us women we need a man to complete us. It tells us we need to receive flowers or go on dates to feel beautiful.
But, my darling, as one who's currently in the midst of a season of singleness, trust me when I say GOD HAS A PLAN. And a man. For you.
Sure, easier said than done, right? What about watching all your girlfriends date around? What about those no good ex-boyfriend's blowing up your phone?
Honey, I know. Seriously. But, looking to scripture, God makes it perfectly clear: this is no time to be pessimistic. While your single friends are bummed, keep your head up and serve as an example of keeping a joyful heart during all seasons, single or not.
Trust me, the grass is not always greener. Many of my friends with men consistently complain: "he ignored my call," "he texted another girl," "he told me to lose weight" ... there's always trouble in paradise. Especially if you're dating the wrong guy.
Keep in mind, as long as you've allowed Jesus into your heart, He is guiding your path, which He specifically personalized to fit your specific journey. While some women get married at 20, others wait until 26, others 30!
Need some help? Follow my tips. Enjoy this time of 'freedom,' so to speak. I'm as single as a dollar bill, I'm basically an expert now. Enjoy!
1. Find a passion
Do what makes you happy & confident. A man once told me his main attraction towards women was their level of passion. "I don't care if her passion is mowing the lawn, I want a woman that loves doing something, anything!"
2. Eat clean & keep active
Not for a man, but for you! Learn to love veggies, learn to cook a mean stir fry, learn to marinade chicken breast... And no need to have a gym membership to keep fit; my absolute favorite workout is, believe it or not, walking!
3. Love your family
Oh, good old' mom and dad. Learn from them, pick their brain, hang out with them on a Friday night... My parent's and brother are honestly my best friends. Going on a run with my dad, chomping on carrots and guacamole with my mom, playing P.I.G. with my brother in the front yard... you can't buy memories like those.
4. Delete the ex's number
Lol, bye! Have ya'll seen The Holiday? Of couse you have, why even ask. The best best best part of the movie is when Kate Winslet tells Jasper to get out of her house, and life! Great scene. You are not your past, so let 'em go. Especially if they are dating someone else and texting you. Don't be naive, they will do the same to you.
5. Indulge
How do you relax? A mani-pedi? Spray tan? Massage? Facial? Staying home & baking some yummy 3-ingredient brownies? Whatever it is, do it for you. This is your time, hun!
6. Study Scripture
Self-explanatory, see - even Paris Hilton know's what's up! Jesus = Prince of Peace. He is the WAY, the TRUTH, and the LIGHT. No man can or should take the place of Jesus in your heart. Keep Him #1, forever.
7. Read the novel God on a Harley
A very quick read, it's a story about a single middle-aged woman who lost the "love of her life," or so she thought. Feeling broken and alone, she found Christ (on a Harley) and He helped her rebuild her life, soon finding a man much better than she could have imagined. It took me no more than 2 hours to read, start to finish.
9. Remember: You are beautiful!
You are not chewbacca. You have nothing to fear, seriously. You will find someone, I repeat, YOU WILL find someone. There's a man out there looking for someone just like you. God is writing your love story as we speak, do not be afraid.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with having too high of standards. In the eyes of the living God, you are a precious gem, worthy of nothing but His very best. Be optimistic, remembering how lucky you are for what you do have, and before you know it, your prince will sweep you off your feet. Keep your head up; you are a strong, independent woman with a future as bright as your smile. ツ Concetrate on yourself to figure out what you like and don't like. Don't sweat looking for love, let love find you.
