Purity Shmurity
19 April, 2015
Remember back in 2010 how the Jonas Brother's used to wear purity rings - signifying they would stay sexually "pure" prior to marriage? I do, and I remember thinking it was a bit much. I mean, with the fame, money, and looks, who were they trying to kid? And, what was the big deal about being with someone prior to marriage, anyways? I mean, how old-fashioned, right?
Welp, since then, the tables have turned. I am the first to admit I've screwed up in that arena, but having found Christ two years ago, I now totally understand and fully agree with the purity ideology. The Jo Bros, on the other hand, have ditched the rings, leading to nothing but chains and jealousy. (but seriously)
People found it funny the band wanted to wait - including me - but honestly, what's so funny about choosing to be with one person? According to the Word of God, saving sex for marriage is key to a happy life. I used to find that crazy, how could people wait so long? It was only sex, right? What's the big dealio?
The dealio, my friends, is that with each person you go to bed with, you give away a piece of your heart. I, as well as many of you, know that personally.
Lust is the counterfeit of love. What's the difference between the two? True love can wait, lust can't. True love is others-focused, lust is greedy. True love is fully content, lust is never satisfied. Waiting for marriage creates a tremendous amount of trust between a couple, lust creates insecurity and obsessiveness.
This is the part where I put on my big-sister baseball cap, so be forewarned. The world wants us to believe sex is breezy and no big deal, and I once fell victim to that fabrication. If I was dating someone and we "loved" each other, it was all good, right? Every other girl I knew was sleeping with their boyfriend's, so what was stopping me?
Having become a Christian, I've met young women who've grown up in Christian families, many of whom wear purity rings. A few months ago, one of those girls told me she was waiting to not only have sex once she was married, but also to kiss! I couldn't believe it. I literally could not tell you how many boys I've kissed in my life. I would need a few more sets of hands just to count. But, now that I've seen the damage it's done to my heart and thought-process, I wish I could trade places with that girl. She was incredibly beautiful, and she could easily have a boyfriend TODAY if she wanted one, yet she made a promise to herself to commit fully to her future hubby. Now that's love.
So, having done just about everything the Bible warns not to do, I'd say I'm certified to share my opinion: WAIT. Ladies, breaking your purity is not worth it. Any man who won't wait for you is not worth it, anyways. Look at it this way: a true knight in shining armour should do everything in his power to keep you pure, right? If he gives an ultimatum, sex or the door, cheerfully skip your way out, delete his number, and move on.
Instead of Cosmo's 10 Ways to Please Your Man, read the Psalms. "How can a young person keep their heart pure? By guarding it according to Your word. With my whole heart I seek You; let me not wander..." - Psalm 119.
Be encouraged, ladies and gentlemen, because great marriages do still exist, free of insecurity and jealousy. The question is, will yours be one of them? Rapper B.O.B., as rocky as some of his lyrics are, sure nailed it with these lines:
With no directions just tryna get some
Tryna chase skirts, living in the summer sun
This is how I lost more than I had ever won
And honestly I ended up with none
Don't give your heart away until the time is right, beloved. If you've already tripped up, do not fear. Christ is more than willing to forgive, cleanse, and restore. Respect yourself before you wreck yourself, you'll thank yourself later. Through the saving power of Christ - no matter what you've done - you can still wear white, both literally and metaphorically - on your wedding day.
