* Insert Virtual Hug Here
06 May, 2015
I'm 23, and I don't have much to call my own. I don't have my own house, or husband, or kids. I'm not tied down to anything, really, and I'm pretty open-ended about where my future takes me. Where I live isn't a huge concern for me; I love the sun and the snow equally. The type of house I raise a family in isn't a biggie, either. I could do a small condo or a house in the suburbs or a small beach shack or a horse ranch... I'm really up for whatever. (notate: no Budweiser hashtag)
There are a few things, however, I promised myself I wouldn't compromise on.
1. I want to keep active and participate in triathlons and running races.
2. I want to be a writer, even if it's a side job, and get published.
3. Most importantly, I want to raise my family Christian.
That being said, it's pretty essential I find a man who not only believes in God, but loves and fears Him. A man with strong moral values, with a sense of humor, with a cute laugh, and with a good heart. Someone with motivation, someone who inspires me, someone who honors and respects me, and someone with a desire for adventure.
But what do I do when I've found someone almost perfect? Someone who fits the mold almost exactly, serving as a cookie-cutter of my 'future man' prototype? He's kind, he's family-oriented, and he's... not a strong Christian, or Christian at all, to be exact.
Welcome to the last three years of my life. Last night, I broke things off with someone I could have potentially seen myself falling in love with... because he wasn't a believer. It was incredibly emotionally draining for me and one of the hardest things I've done in the last few months.
I fall extremely fast, and I know if I get in too deep, I won't be able to get myself out. Therefore, it's been crucial for me to keep a safe distance from guys I know won't help me achieve #3 on my non-negotiables list written above.
Is it hard? Terribly. There's really nothing I want more than to settle down, plant my roots somewhere with a good man by my side, and get started with my life.
So why can't I just get over it and allow myself to fall for someone? Even my mom told me this morning faith isn't that big of a deal. "If you both like each other, it'll all work out in the end. Follow your gut!"
Well, every part of my gut last night told me to stay, to not worry about his lack of faith, and to see where the cards 
landed. Every part of my heart wanted to fall for him. But every part of my head told me to walk away. This has happened a few times now between me and different boys the last 3 years, and I swear I am even more heartbroken than they are because I don't want to go, but my head tells me it's necessary.
Am I still feeling hurt? I am. But, if there's one thing I do know in this life, it's that #Godsgotthis. He has a perfect plan for my life, ready and able to give me the desires of my heart. Although I thought I found the perfect guy, I know God has someone even more special, because he'll be a follower of Christ.
I was feeling a bit crummy today after last night, and I sat down to evaluate what exactly I was bummed about. Sure, I'm missing out on a good guy, but if I had stayed with him, I would have missed out on so much more:
Holding hands at church on Sunday's, sending my kids to Christian schools, praying before meals... these are the things I need in my life. Spending time reading the Bible calms me, steadies my heart, and gives me clear vision. What's the joy in a marriage if you can't share your deepest passions?
My advice to all you singles: hold fast. Don't settle for something or someone you know you can't compromise on, no matter how perfect they may seem. You are God's beloved, and He wants nothing more than to lead you down the perfect path He's predestined for you. I have nothing to worry about, my God has already hand-chosen the right man for me; a man who will not only take care of me, but will point me to Christ every single day.
Don't be afraid, He has a plan. Meanwhile, go hug someone. Life is too short to feel down.
And honey, don't worry about being an old, single cat lady. Wait. You'll be stronger for it, you'll be respected by others and yourself, and you'll realize you don't need someone in the short-term to be happy.
