My Shortlived Bro-mance

15 March, 2015

lf you're a girl between the ages of 18 and 30, it's safe to say you, or a friend of yours, has had a crush on Brody Jenner at some point in time. Having starred on The Hills (a former obsession of mine), and Keeping Up With the Kardashians, among other shows, he's pretty much a big deal in the reality TV realm. I'm unashamed to say he was my bonafide high school celebrity crush.

Moving to Malibu, California my sophomore year of college, I was aware I may have a run-in or two with some celebrities. Malibu is a playground for the rich and famous, and I was keeping my eyes peeled. A few weeks into school, my new friends and I went to Cafe Habana on a Tuesday night. (Note: Pepperdine University doesn't have classes on Wednesday mornings, so Tuesday nights were no different than Fridays, generally)

Any Malibu resident is familiar with Cafe Habana, it's a mexican restaurant (obviously) that turns into a bar/dance club come night-time. This particular night, the place was packed; there was an up-and-coming DJ and lots and lots of dancing.

I wasn't 21 at the time and wasn't much of a drinker anyways, but a friend and I squeezed our way over to the bar for a soda. Leaning over the bar, trying to get the bartender's attention, I noticed beautiful brown, whispy hair on the man's head next to me. "Wow, he's cute," I thought. "How do I know that guy? Is he in my science class?"

In a matter of moments, it hit me: I was standing next to the one and only Brody Jenner. The very man I had been crushing over via television was trying to order a vodka soda... standing right next to me.

Of course, I needed to talk to him. He had always been such a gentleman to Lauren Conrad on The Hills, maybe this was my chance? "Are you Brody Jenner?" I blurted out. (smooth, Paige) "Nope," he said. "Who's Brody Jenner? Definitely not me. I'm deeefinitely not Brody Jenner, whoever that is."

Unsure if he was being rude or playful, I teased back. "Um, yeah you definitely are." Again, very smooth (ha). "Nope. I'm not Brody. Who's Brody? That's a funny name. Noooot me." Paying the bartender, I looked his way once more. "Nice meeting with, Mr. Jenner" as I winked and walked away. "See ya," he laughed.

At this point in my life, I wasn't the most secure with who I was. If I liked a guy, it was very superficial and materialistic, and I needed constant reassurance they liked me back. I would put up with pretty much anything, if I liked the guy, because I was placing my self-worth in his hands.

A few weeks after the initial encounter, I saw Brody again at Starbucks. "Hi!" I squeeled as he walked off with his mocha latte. "Um, hi," he said. Another moment, almost as great as the first one, I thought (delusional, I understand). Throughout my sophomore year, I saw him five more times, more or less, buying a smoothie at the Vitamin Barn, eating brunch at Coogies, munching on a sandwich at John's Garden... and each time I would completely overplay the interaction (if anything at all) that we had.

Once, he held the door open for me at a restaurant, and I melted, thinking we were destined to be together. Another time, he smiled at me at the Malibu Lumber Yard mall, and it was solidified in my mind: he was totally into me and we would grow old together and I could move into his Malibu beach pad and I could become besties with Kendall and Kylie Jenner and, and, and...

Yep, I had quite the imagination, like most 19-year old girls do, I suppose. Like I said, I was not secure with myself, I was constantly looking for attention and reassurance from boys. My junior and senior years of college, I'd still see him around here and there, except at that point he was dating a cute blonde whom was always at his side.

It was safe to say I was no longer crushing on Brody, I was becoming more comfortable in my own skin and growing more realistic with my thought process. I had (finally) allowed my heart and mind to be shaped by Jesus Christ, and all those chains of a) needing a boyfriend b) needing a backup boyfriend c) needing attention, texts, and material gifts ... was basically over. I was cool with singleness, and have pretty much been single since, to be honest.

Point of this post? As women, it's easy to project a specific image on a man that we wish was real. Funny as the story is, I left my first encouter with Brody thinking, "Wow! What a real gentleman." In reality, he hadn't been very nice to me. Pretty rude, infact.

Throughout my lifetime thus far, I have dated a handful of guys, some of which were first-class men, others not. But, looking back, I find it pretty wacky (for lack of a better word) that I'd stay with someone who treated me badly, dated other girls at the same time, put me down, or talked badly about me.

As an insecure teenager, it seemed THOSE guys, the ones whom weren't prince charmings, in the least, were the one's I ran after most. I wanted to prove to myself I was worthy by "winning their love," choosing bad-boys over one's who would've actually been gentlemen.

My word of advice, especially to teens, is not to settle for someone who doesn't treat you like a princess. There is nothing, I repeat, nothing wrong with being single. In fact, singleness as a young woman is the most beautiful time of one's life. It's a time to soul search, grow into the woman you want to be, and not to compromise oneself to fit a certain mold of what a specific man is looking for.

I recommend taking time to figure out who you are, and only then look for the one you're compatible with. Changing who we are, at our core, is not something we need to do to find a perfect match. I guarantee there's a man out there, celebrity or not, who would be lucky to have you. Not for who you can pretend to be, but you, the real you.

My little encounters with Mr. Jenner are laughable. But, it's a prime example of how women often run after men, make the first move, compromise themselves, and overexaggerate scenarios. Brody, whom I think is currently single, has many, many women after him on a daily basis.

Wait, my dear, for the one who chases after you, not vice versa (no matter how much of a crush you had on him in highschool ☺)

Hanging out at Cafe Habana ^