Is Chivalry Dead? Have Women Killed It? ☠

09 May, 2015

This morning I read a great article titled Why Chivalry is Dead, From a Man's Perspective. The writer makes the argument guys aren't 'manning up' to treat women the way they deserve. They're not treating to dinners, opening car doors, walking on the outside of the street, etc. It had some good points, I'll admit. Here's a snippet:

Dating is done. Seriously, who goes on dates anymore? It’s all about hooking up, getting a number, grabbing a drink and getting down. I think I’m the only single guy I know that actually takes a girl out to a restaurant on a first date.

The guy has a good point, men aren't owning up to the fact they are, well, men. The article takes an interesting turn, however, and the writer begins to explain how, although men need to step up, women are just as guilty of hurting our society's dating expectations. They're becoming complacent, allowing men to "get away with adhering to the bare minimum." He explains:

We no longer have to put in the effort of flowers, chocolates, dates, etc., and if we do, we come off as stage-five clingers.

Eventually, I feel that women will wise up and start asking for the things that they deserve, the things used to be automatic and expected of men, like holding a door, pulling out a chair, and paying for dinners.

Until then, men are going to get away with putting in the bare minimum. It’s pretty obvious women own the cards, and when they start acting like it, they’ll finally start getting dinner from places that don’t deliver.

Harsh, I know. I was a little upset after reading that, to be honest. But boy, is he right! The writer wasn't afraid to speak the truth, women have convinced themselves they're satisfied with being treated sub-par. Consequently, men realize they don't need to fight for a woman in any regard. Nice dinners, opening doors, and treating a woman with respect is no longer a necessity to find someone.

With the massive feminist movement the last century, women have grown more and more independent, which is obviously great. The right to vote, (general) equal pay, and more opportunity has led to wonderful things for the common woman. But, does that mean she no longer needs to accept help from a man? The way I look at it, today's man wants a woman of strength and confidence, a woman who enjoys taking care of herself and others. Today's man does not, however, want a woman who demands independence, undermines chivalry, and takes the "male" role in a relationship.

Men are taught from a young age to work hard for what they truly want. Why would a man feel proud to be with a woman he didn't have to work for? Men want women they have rolled out the red carpet for, so to speak, whether that means cooking for her, taking her to nice places, telling her she looks beautiful, etc.

Now, I'm not saying men need to spend thousands of dollars on their future wife, but they DO need to put in time and effort. Otherwise, have they really fought for her? Would they really feel proud to be with someone without having to lift a finger?

So, as women, it's our duty to raise the standards, to not settle for men who don't treat us well, and to expect chivalry. It's for our best and their best. The gender roles will not be confused, you'll feel like a princess, and he'll know he's fought for something worth while.

According to a study in the UK, 90% of men consider themselves gentlemen. Women, expect your man to be a gentleman, and he will be one. He knows how, it's in his blood. Don't laugh at him for opening the door, don't demand a split check, and don't try to text him first to set up a date. Let him do the work, you'll be surprised how much he'll appreciate it.